It’s been such a long time since I wrote in earnest, anywhere. So much has changed for me. So many things are different in my life.
I live in Texas now, having spent all but 2 years of my life in Utah. I’ve been here for almost 4 years now and I love it! Texas is home, now. I can hardly imagine living somewhere else.
I work in an extremely challenging and engaging business. Having been a Unix Systems Admin for around 8 years in Utah, I took a position as a Java Application Admin at my current company. The similarities and the differences are striking. I use the standard set of Unix admin tools still on a daily basis. At the same time, I spend a lot more time poring over log files from Weblogic and JBoss JVMs, implementing and creating new ways to monitor and visualize data, and making sure our customers’ apps are running optimally.
I am older and more mature (hopefully). I have discovered that I spent most of my life looking at the world around me with the myopic view of one with symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome. There has been a shift in me since then. At first, this discovery was like putting on corrective lenses which suddenly brought my past into focus. This was incredibly uncomfortable. They say that hindsight is 20/20, but this experience was more like 20/10 or better. All of my interpersonal mishaps and miscommunications were suddenly plain to me, and I still have painful recollections of something I did or said long ago. The pain is diminished, significantly, from what it initially was. Embarrassment can be a difficult thing for a perfectionist. I’m learning and growing still, however. That’s what really matters.
With that realization, however, come many new opportunities to see the world as it actually is or as it can be. This reawakening is ongoing for me. I have not forgotten my past, nor do I seek to hide from it. The old blog is still around at http://oldblog.untergeek.com with a disclaimer about its meaning as a part of my history. I do hope to convey, however, that my life has new meaning. This is my reawakening.